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At Romance and Real Love, we love men who love women! We want every man to get the most out of his love life relationship. This section will give men the inside skinny on dealing with the fairer sex and with themselves. It is a must read for any man who wants to have better relationships with women. We will add or change articles about every 2-3 weeks, so check back often. Only through better understanding the differences between men and women can we appreciate them and find harmony, love and mutual enjoyment. Please don't hesitate to email us with your comments or about information you want to see. We love to hear from you! See the "Click Here" link above (under the pictures) to contact us.

This month:

• How to Get Her to Stop Nagging
• What's Your "Woman Attitude?"
• Resources for Men

How to Get Her to Stop Nagging

Some women, have negative dispositions. Your honey may have gotten her bad habit from her past. Perhaps that's what she saw growing up, and doesn't know what else to do. The other reason is because she is not happy within herself and possibly not happy with some of your ways. In any case,  to get her to stop nagging you are going to have to have a face-to-face.  We know many men hope to avoid confrontation at all cost with a woman.  But confrontation can be done in such a way as to get you exactly what you want.  Believe it or not, women are much more logical than most men think.  Start first by treating her in the manner you would like to be treated, this is the key to getting what you want from her.  Here’s what you do If you want her to stop the insanity of nagging:

1. Catch her at a time when she is calm, and not bitching and moaning about something.
2. Look her in the eye and tell her you want to talk to her – if you’ve never done this before, you’ve got her attention now!
3. Tell her you love her and you want to have a better relationship - one that is more fun, more positive, more enjoyable for both of you. (If she’s never heard these words from you, she’s probably thinking you only have 6 months to live and you realize how precious your time together will be – you’ve REALLY got her attention now).
4. Admit her complaints that are true (do you leave your dirty underwear in the middle of the floor? Did you promise to paint the trim 6 months ago?).  Apologize for them (yes, that’s right and don’t add any “buts” to it.)  Yes of course there are plenty of things she does wrong too, now is not the time, because you are about to hit her with a whammy.

Freebie about Women:  It is terribly aggravating, hurtful, and often insulting when you say you will do something but never seem to get around to it. One of the biggest complaints women have is that a man’s words do not match his actions (women call it lying). Your woman feels as if you don't care about her and feels disrespected. More importantly when you promise to do something and don’t, you are saying that your word means nothing, that they have no power (a woman wants her man to have character, integrity, and be able to count on him) this often leads women to lose respect for their man.  That’s how women think – if the words that come out of your own mouth mean nothing, what are you about?  Ask yourself how you would feel if she acted the same way and said she would cook Sunday dinner, but just never got around to it?  Are you the captain of your team or are you and your woman enemies working against each other?  You as the head of the household can set a different tone, one where you both enjoy each other more.

1. Tell her how you feel.  Explain how her nagging and complaining makes you feel - angry, turned off, un-motivated, spiteful, makes you not care, disrespected, etc. Be honest about your true feelings.
2. Tell her  that you need her to stop nagging- point blank, just like that. Point out to her that her complaining and nagging hasn't motivated or inspired you to do what she wants, so why keep it up? Let her know that she has too many good qualities and nagging detracts from them and makes  her look and sound unattractive and makes it unpleasant to be around her. Even if she is right about the things you do or don't do, don't let her blame you for how she chooses to act by nagging.
3. Lastly, tell her what approach she could use that would get better results and make you feel as if you want to do what she is requesting. Tell her you need to be spoken to with respect, with kindness, and not like a child. Of course you must realize that she deserves the same. If you are not doing this towards her it is not going to go over well for you to request this of her. Note: Some men seem to think all women should instinctively know all the womanly tricks of the trade to get a man to do what she wants. The fact is this is just not true. Many women are raised in situations which are just as traumatic, dysfunctional, and negative as many men and never learned or saw a relationship where the woman knew how to "work it." If you care for your lady and consider yourselves partners, help her to understand, it will benefit you both.
4. Let her know what happens if she continues to nag – you will quietly walk away until she can approach you without the drama.   Don’t mistake nagging for her bringing up perhaps an unpleasant, yet valid issue that needs to be discussed.  Nagging is badgering, demeaning, saying the same thing over and over, angry or negative talk,  whining, etc. 
5. Keep your word!

Now in all fairness, many women are not complaining or nagging about nothing at all. Understandably you don't want to hear all the angry, negative talk, but ask yourself, "Am I being a good man for her?" You may not like how she says what she says, but is what she saying true? What often happens is that couples start pointing fingers, "When you stop doing this, then I'll stop doing that." If you are ever going to be the captain of your team, the king of your castle, the head of the household, you have a responsibility to be a man of your word. Do not promise what you aren't going to do. When you agree to do something, give yourself and her a deadline and stick to it. You wouldn't want anything less from her, and your life with her will be so much more enjoyable.

What's your "Woman Attitude?"

There are some men who genuinely absolutely love women.  There are other men who because they are heterosexual desire and are attracted to the opposite sex, but aren't as comfortable and confident with women.  The ideal man for a woman is the former, a man who is comfortable and confident with women, one who just loves women. As a man you know how relaxed and confident you feel when you are around women that you are attracted to, or how tense or nervous or uncomfortable you are.   Let's check your "woman attitude":

Answer the following questions True or False

• I like and appreciate the differences between men and women, even if I don't always understand them.
• I like a fairly wide range of women and am not stuck on just one look or one type -( for example a certain hair color or length is not a must, she can be short and petite or taller and slim, or more curvier and busty).
• My woman doesn't have to have a particular occupation just as long as she loves doing what she does and its legal.
• I enjoy talking to women.
• I like flirting and laughing with women.
• I enjoy the company of woman for more than just sex.
• I feel like I generally understand women better than most men.
• I know how to make a woman feel appreciated and cared for.
• I am not usually nervous or insecure around women.
• I have no problem approaching a woman I am attracted to (single men).
• I bounce back easily and move on if a woman I like isn't interested in me.
• I would never ever hit or abuse a woman - it's not who I am.
  
  

If you got more than 6 or more True answers, you probably have a fairly healthy attitude towards women.  If you got 5 or less, you may fall into the category of, "I want a woman but not that comfortable with them." Some women can be hard to take, but here's the inside scoop on making it with women.  With a little care most woman can find their softer side and make it worth your effort.  Here are 5 totally free or extremely cheap ways to make a woman feel like you are one in a million. 

1. Listen and Talk to her! Women love a man that can hold a conversation - what a turn on when he actually listens and responds and just as importantly has something intelligent to offer in conversation. 
2. Be freaking honest, but be nice about it - women take the words that come out of your mouth seriously because what you say reflects your character and integrity (and neither men or women want a lying scoundrel).  So say what you mean, and mean what you say.  It is important that your words and actions match up.
   1. Sometimes men get nervous and go overboard trying to impress a woman.  The best impression you can leave is to be yourself.  If you are nervous - tell her ("I can't believe how nervous I am around you.").  A savvy woman will try to put you at ease and reassure you that she won't bite, or she may admit she's a bit nervous too and both of you can take a deep breath and laugh it off.
   2. Bragging and showing off doesn't impress.  Instead share things you enjoy doing and ask her about her interests. 
   3. If you aren't interested, don't lead her on or use her.  Treat her how you would want a man to treat your sister, mother or daughter.
3. If you don't naturally have a sense of humor find out who or what makes her laugh and enjoy those things together.  Women love a man with a great sense of humor, and a man that can make his woman laugh has an inside advantage. Watch to see if she genuinely enjoys your humor.  Some guys think they are funny when they are actually a bit obnoxious.  Many women will be nice and go along so they won't hurt your feelings but are mortified on the inside.  Her face should tell the true story.
4. Find out one or two things that she really likes and then every once in a while, give her what she likes when she isn't expecting it. The best gifts are those where there is no expectation of returning the favor, otherwise it feels like a bribe to get something in return.  This could be as simple as her favorite ice cream, or taking a walk in the park without her having to ask you.
5. Be confident and make her feel like you are her protector - even the most independent women like to feel like she has a strong man who looks out for her.  Confidence in your manliness turns women on.  Simple things like opening doors, taking her hand and leading her through a crowd, giving a nice big bear hug for no reason, genuine compliments, looking her in the eye and telling her what you like about her ("girl, I like how patient you are with your family," "I like the way your smile puts people at ease," etc.). 

Women aren't that hard to please, the key is being honest with yourself and with them. Remember to treat a woman with the same kindness and consideration you want and especially make sure that what you say reflects what you do.  Integrity and good character don't cost you anything - but can score huge points with the fairer sex.

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Our future articles will be about what you, our beloved men want and need to know about women. Send us an email about what you would like to see in "For Men."

Web Resources for Men

• Ask Men
• Men Web - check out Secrets of Married Men
• Men for Change

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