Division of Labor for Couples
Here is a comprehensive list of the everyday things that couples may have to do to run their household. How much do you do? How much does your partner do? In these days of both partners working full-time outside of the home, the division of labor should be negotiated where neither partner feels they are carrying the lions share of responsibilities on their shoulders. Research has shown that a stay at home mom does the equivalent of two (2) full- time jobs. So even if you are the sole breadwinner your partner is still probably putting in significantly more hours of backbreaking labor. Sharing the load could make a world of difference in the quality of your relationship.
If your partner is angry, bitter, always tired, complaining, never has time for you, distant or frustrated, could it be he/she is pulling more of the load and maybe feeling overworked and under appreciated? Perhaps it is time to re-negotiate and make your union the partnership it should be.
Go through these lists and check off the things that you do and place your partner's initials next to the things they do. What's the verdict? Make the changes to bring about some equity and harmony in your lives.
Finances - the #1thing couples argue about is money. If you have that together a lot of other things will go more smoothly. Both partners need to understand and agree on who handles the following responsibilities.
- Knowing net worth - assets minus liabilities
- Knowing who and how much you owe and at what interest rates and terms
- Setting and working towards financial goals for getting out of debt, savings, retirement, a house, college fund, etc.
- Paying bills on time (saves your credit rating, avoid late fees and penalties)
- Managing real estate - terms of mortgage, when to re-finance, etc.
- Managing accounts - checking, savings, investments
- Managing budget - things that must be paid - housing, utilities, insurance, vehicles, taxes, and what resources are available to spend on food, clothing, prescriptions, household items, vacations, recreation and extracurricular activities, etc.
If you and your partner are not both aware of what is your real financial picture or have not set financial goals and retirement planning get started now check out the Finish Rich web site (click here)
House Cleaning
- Dusting
- Vacuuming
- Sweeping
- Emptying trash - going through entire house, emptying trash, and replacing with fresh trash bags
- Mopping floors
- Returning things to their proper place - having a specific place for things
- Cleaning mirrors, counter tops, windows, tubs, sinks, toilets,
- Kitchen - all of the above plus dishwashing/drying/ putting away, cleaning inside and outside of stove, cleaning inside of refrigerator, discarding old stuff from fridge
Laundry
- Sorting and pre-treating stains
- Washing
- Drying
- Folding
- Ironing
- Hanging
- Putting away laundry
- Delivering and picking up Dry Cleaning
Meal Preparation
- Planning what to prepare or have on hand for breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks
- Adding ingredients and items for meals to grocery list as you run out of them
- Cooking and serving meals (does your family have at least one meal a day together?)
- Cleaning up after meals - dishes, putting away food, cleaning counters, stove top, sweep floor, take out trash
Shopping
- Making list of items needed
- Keeping track of items needed for entire household - are you out of mustard? do you need mouthwash, diapers, toilet paper?
- Going to the grocery store for food and household supplies
- Putting away groceries
- Clothing, shoes, etc. -
- Knowing sizes for everyone in the household
- Taking children with you to shop (often necessary to try things on - if you've never done it before try it)
- Miscellaneous - prescriptions, shoe repairs, car wash, gift buying, wrapping and delivery
Regular and Seasonal Work
- Vehicle maintenance - wash, wax, clean inside, oil changes, routine maintenance - involves doing it yourself or taking your car somewhere for someone else to do it while you wait.
- Yard work - mowing, trimming, treating weeds and grass, watering, clean up
- Infrequent home maintenance - gutter cleaning, painting, minor repairs, etc.
Got Kids?
- Staying at home or leaving work for sick child or doctor's appointments
- Feeding them
- Homework help
- Dropping off, picking up, and participating in their extra curricular activities
- Getting clothes and books together for next school day
- Lunch preparation
- Shopping for special projects and school or recreation related things - science fair project, cheerleading, dance, little league games, football,birthdays ,sleep-overs, etc.
- Bath time, story time for small children
- Spending time with your kids as a family to focus on them - find out what's going on with them, how their day was, what's on their mind, who their friends are, what they are doing with their spare time, showing them you love them, teaching them values, religious beliefs, responsibilities, etc.
Time for Each Other - Just scanning through this list can make you feel overwhelmed. It takes a lot to keep a household going, even one that isn't running smoothly. Despite all you and your honey have to do, make a point to have something that you regularly do for each other. Do something on their "to-do" list , or give them a little self-indulgent treat. Doing something for your partner that you may take for granted can help you feel more connected and appreciative of what they do: Here are some ideas:
- The #1 Most Important Thing is to learn your partner's Love Language - what do they need from you to feel loved and appreciated? What do you need from them? Sharing this and doing it will draw you closer together even in our hectic world.
- Give each other a minimum of 15 minutes of uninterrupted, non-judging, loving attention each day. They are the star, the focus is on them.
- Pay for her manicures or pedicures, or hair stylist- get a gift certificate to her favorite salon or pay for services for her in advance
- Pay for his hair cuts in advance or give him a gift certificate
- Schedule a regular couples massage once a month for the two of you
- Give a gift certificate to his/her favorite ice cream parlor so they can keep it in the car- on a particularly stressful day.
- Once a week or every other week, offer to do one of the chore's your partner regularly does - run the dishwasher, put away the laundry (men, you can learn where everything goes), or trim the hedges for him. The best thing to do is ask what you can do for your honey to make their day a little easier.
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